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Why am I back here?

I don't know but whatever. I'm gonna keep it as a food diary.
Breakfast: 1/4 piece of French toast
Lunch: 1/2 banana and small roll with corned beef
Dinner: 1/2 cup of rice, chicken and veg stirfry
Snack: 4 tuc crackers


Livejournal triggers me.


why is it that I can be so okay for so long, and in a matter of days I can go back to being so hateful and critical towards myself?

Haven't updated in a while..

I've decided to use this journal to just post new poems and stuff that I write.
So, here's a poem..

This one doesn't have a title, maily because I'm just going to write it on the spot and see what comes out.
Here it goes...

I'm still trying to find myself,
In an uphill battle, I'll struggle for help,
When the rest of the world is a critic,
How do the weak survive?

All of the walls are closing in,
It's like a movie with no beginning,
The end is closer, the middle is gone,
The weak held tight, the weak are now strong.

The strong are crying, the weak walk away
The sun comes out, just one more day
A mirror image into her heart
Shows the ways in which you tore her apart

I'm my own worst critic, You're your own too,
Always criticising everything we do,
We try to hang strong, to be happy and free,
But sometimes that's the worst way to be.

The strong are weaker than the weak who stand tall,
The strong are always waiting for the fall,
The weak are prepared, the strong hide away,
The sun comes out, just one more day.

... Alright.. I think I'm gonna call that "The Weak"

May. 23rd, 2011

I'm in a crazy bad mood tonight. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I feel like screaming, really, really loudly. But no one would listen anyway.

Luke 12:22-34
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Jan. 23rd, 2011

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
My voice is almost gone.. I have sat in my room for almost an hour repeating the word "Hello" to myself, trying to make myself be able to say the beginning AND the ending of the word.. Failing every time.

Hey everyone!
So little Amy (who I referred to in my last post) is doing much better. She had an emergency operation a couple days ago. The doctors found out that the shunt in her head (a pipe that drains the liquid from her brain) had been clogged and that was leading to her being ill. She is looking up now and is smiling again so thank you for all of your prayers.
Also, I would like to add that there is a boy with cancer who is selling his art work over the internet to try to pay for his treatment. I know a lot of us don't have much money, but I think if we could just cut back on one thing this week, we may all be able to buy one of his paintings. He needs the money. Just go to www.Nathanlev.com and check it out. Thanks :) I'll be keeping him in my prayers.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. And I hope everyone is doing well (:
Also. Feel free to follow me on twitter at oxfirefly .